I'm positive you are not alone

During my time of dealing with depression I have read so many posts that say "people who suffer from depression and anxiety can't see the positives in things so stop telling them to be positive". I call BS on this.

Of course a lot of people can't see the positives when they are experiencing things. But they should never stop trying, I am one of those people who haven't given up the battle. And there are always people who will help them do it too.  

I was speaking to a loved one last night who opened up and told me they have depression, to them it felt like a life sentence. By the end of the conversation we were laughing and reminiscing over some seriously good times we have had together. Please reach out to loved ones, you may not realise how much they want to be there for you. They may not know how to deal with it at first, just tell them you don't need them to solve anything, sometimes all we need is a friend to be there and listen.

In the meantime I found this great article on tips for dealing with fear and anxiety:

How to deal with chronic fear and anxiety

1. Avoid avoidance – face it and move forward

2. Develop a healthy sense of personal control – think the serenity prayer

3. Promote positivity – it broadens our perspective

4. Find meaning – rediscover a sense of purpose

5. Get support – the strength of social relationships helps with confidence

6. Go for a walk in nature – not only helps you feel better but lowers blood pressure, heart rate, and the production of stress hormones

https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/enhance-your-wellbeing/security/facing-fear/how-deal-chronic-fear-and-anxiety

I like to be alone but I hate to be lonely

I have had the last 24 hours to myself. To a lot of people this would be heaven, and I totally get that (especially for parents!). Lately though, I don't know what to do with myself.  I'm going through a huge life change and I don't really know what I enjoy any more.  There is only so much work, craft, seeing friends and cleaning you can do.  I think if I spoke to someone my voice would crack as I haven't used it.

I got myself out of the house for a bit as I noticed that I started feeling sorry for myself.  My first trigger.  I really don't have much to feel sorry for myself about, realistically.  A scroll through Facebook will give me some perspective.  But no I just end up watching some stupid videos that are meant to make me laugh. I really want to laugh more.  Next trigger, get out of my head space.  I'm being self-destructive.

Why am I writing this?  I'm trying to be aware of what's happening and know how to combat it.  I believe in the journey of depression, we can combat some stuff, other days we just need to give in and have a good sob, or seek professional help.  It's all about balance.  My trick is to not get stuck in one mindset, which means switching between a lot of different activities.  People think I have a short attention span and don't finish a task - it's actually a survival technique for me.

So this being alone for too long is not good for me, but I am learning how long I can last, and I spread it out a little more when I feel up to it.

For now, I'm gonna make a cuppa and call a friend who loves to chat.  The kind of friend who doesn't mind if I am quiet <3