Step 4 in the Journey to Happiness

So a bit of a recap of the first three steps, thanks to my lovely friend Michelle at Gentle Warriors:

1. Breathe - give yourself time out and don't sweat the really small stuff.

2. Fake it - even if you don't feel radiant, put the smile on your dial and get positive.

3. Believe - in yourself and manifesting miracles. By affirmations, what and who you listen to, don't give up and stay positive. 

Step 4 - Gratitude 

"The Universe is grateful for you! Appreciation for everything flows through you in great bounty. Cherish the preciousness of life and everyone and everything around you." - Soul Coaching Oracle Cards Guide Book.

I have a question for you. What kind of grateful are you?

1. The kind that was brought up to use manners and then just automatically says thank you, without really thinking about what someone has done for you. Or

2. The kind that really takes note of the things that are given to you in life and pays it forward. 

I have realised I alternate between the two. I am always grateful, I just don't always show or acknowledge as much as I should. 

Sometimes I feel that thank you is enough, other times it isn't. How do you tell the difference?  I go with my gut.  For example, I am friends with Yvonne of Essential Insights, and on the weekend I was looking in my cupboard and noticed the large amount of essences I have ordered/received from her.  I was overwhelmed by her generosity.  Is this a time where I just say thank you?  I don't think so.  I have therefore popped something in the post to her to let her know her kindness is appreciated. She is a woman that does so much for so many and I never want her to feel she is unappreciated.

I am making it my intention to show my gratitude more, I figure it's a win-win.  You get to make people realise how valued they are and that they are making a difference.  You also put it out to the universe that you and this person are deserving of good things.   This brings more good things into your life, and you start to feel a whole lot better about life in general.  How could you not love that?!

How am I going to show that I am grateful?

- I have downloaded a gratitude diary to my iPhone (I am more likely to write in this than a journal as I have my phone handy most of the time).   Gratitude 365\

- I will update my address book so I can pop a note of thanks to someone when the time comes (making sure I have stamps handy!).

- I will use up more of my credit on my phone to drop someone a text message or even just make a call to say I am thinking of them and grateful to have them in my life. 

- Instead of "just" saying thank you, I will compliment the person who has shown me kindness, and really mean it.

It may sound so simple but it pays off in so many ways.  How do you show you are grateful??

What does Frankie say?

Relax! Am I showing my age/taste of music here?!

At least once a day you should find a way to relax, even just for 10 mins. I'm not talking about sitting in front of the TV, I mean doing an activity that is just about you. 

Are you one to meditate or would like to give it a go? There are free meditations on this website and tips on how to do it

 www.meditation.org.au

Are you someone who likes to take a long bath? Add some Epsom and sea salts to help the relaxation and your limbs. If you don't have a bath, have a longer than normal shower, get a face washer and put a few drops of lavender on it,  wet it and rub your body with it.

Do you read? Join a library, get the iBook app, or borrow from friends.

Go for a walk, even just around the block.

Take some deep breaths.

Do your favourite activity - golf, fishing, yoga, or bike-riding.

Listen to you favourite album from start to finish, sing along to feel even better!

Sit outside and watch the world go by.

If you're not sure of the kind of relaxation you need, the website below gives great suggestions based on your reaction to stress.  I'm not surprised I need to do rhythmic dancing!

http://m.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-relief-relaxation-techniques

Are you willing to share what you do to relax? Have a cup of tea and think about it ;-)

A bit of guidance

Continuing on from my blog yesterday, if you chose a number, here are your cards:

1. Family - this situation is rooted in an emotional experience with a family member, which we can help you to understand and heal. In your mind and heart, surround this person, yourself, and the experience with calming blue light and many angels. Be open to the gifts within the situation, and allow yourself to feel peace.

2. Wedding - marriage is the union of two souls joined in love, mutual respect, and commitment. It signifies a desire to deepen love over time. Your wedding day is a testament to your well-founded faith in love's power. Continually breathe life into that faith and love, Dearest One.

3. Trustworthy Guidance - you've received a wonderful idea in answer to your prayers. This idea is real and trustworthy. You can safely move forward with it, knowing that we are with you every step of the way. Ask for and be open to receiving our support for anything that you need related to this idea. 

4. Innocence - Beloved One, everyone is guiltless in truth, as no one can alter God's handiwork of perfection. Give us your feelings of heaviness so we can lighten your load. Give us any guilt, anger, or blame that may shroud your loving outlook. Enjoy the peace within your heart once more. 

5. See Only Love - look past the seeming errors, mistakes, and misunderstandings, and see only the love within each person (including yourself). Your resolute focus upon the love that underlies every situation brings about healing in undreamed-of ways.

6. Assertiveness - this situation can be healed gently and with love, as you've requested, yet there's also a need for your strength and truthfulness with the other people involved. We will stand right behind you as you speak your truth, giving you strength and guiding words. 

Who's up for some fun and guidance?

Pick a card! The cards are numbered 1-6, top to bottom and left to right. Comment below on which number/card you are drawn to and you will receive some guidance in return. I will post the cards later today. Share the love! 

Happiness is your right!

I just read this great article on being happy! It's

well written and proves that happiness is very

achievable. Enjoy and smile!

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3909772

Always look on the bright side of life

I wanted to share with you a technique that my hubby and I use to pull each other up if we are speaking negatively. 

We have a code word to say to each other to bring attention to the fact that we are being negative. Our word is Elephant.  One, because my mum once said to me "relationships are like eating an elephant, you take it one piece at a time".  And Two, because I can't help but smile when I think of elephants, such beautiful creatures (hence my pseudonym).

So, my challenge to you is think of a word which makes you smile (beach, monkey, Eddie Murphy, bum!), tell someone close to you, who you talk to often, to say this word to you when you are talking negatively. You then have a choice - to stop what you are saying or, even better, turn it into a positive.

It is a challenge, but a worthwhile one. An exercise to help turn your words into your thoughts...

Let's Hear it for the Boy

Now that I have your attention (and hopefully made you laugh)! I wanted to talk about men and depression. 

This is a subject that as a woman I don't have "first-hand" experience but I do have men in my life who are battling depression. 

Men are practical beings. Unlike us women they don't particularly like to talk about everything they are feeling. 

So I am approaching this post in a practical way. I could say to a man - breathe and just get through each day as it comes. The men in my life would look at me like I thought they were an idiot!

So here is my list of options for where men can start play-wrestling the black dog:

1. Get active - step away from the gaming console and go outside, for a walk/run, fresh air, a swim, or even join a gym.

2. Phone a mate - call a friend who you can rely on to hold you accountable regarding fitness. They don't need to know you are dealing with depression, just that you want to lose some kilos/build some muscle. Someone you can check in with, say once a week, to report the exercise you have done. Even better if they do it with you. Find a way you can't lie to them about it too!! I'm not talking about a sexy selfie!

3. Get rid of grog - most people know alcohol is a depressant. Some people don't know that the mixer you are having it with doesn't help either. Soft drinks like Coke add to the headache the next day. If you really can't take the step and reduce drinking yet then try and change the amount and your mixer to something like Dry (I would also suggest Diet Coke or Tonic but I could already hear the groans from my Aussie friends!).

3. Have a MANtra - yes I'm erring on the warm and fuzzy side, but no one else needs to know about this one. What is something you can wake up and say to yourself every day (as many times as you need) to help you along?? Is it about what you are thankful for (friends and family, money, good teeth), is it your best qualities (nice/funny/smart/fit), or is that you have the control at all times and you are not going to let negative sh*t get you down?? Maybe decide this on a good day, write it down and put it somewhere no one else will come across it - sock drawer or your wallet...

4. Talk - the hardest for a lot of men - we need to get rid of the stigma that if you talk about depression then you are weak,  not a real man, etc etc. A man close to me recently spoke up to his mates about it and found out that some of them were dealing with it too. So instead of going out and just getting drunk with these guys they do fun/physical things. Whether its going to the driving range, paintball, cricket in the park, spotting each other at their home-gyms, or even something like having a game of cards/poker. Yes some friends may not know how to take it, tell them that's ok, you just need to look after yourself, and they are welcome to join you in whatever activities you do. 

Talking is so very healthy and it is one of the contributing factors as to why less women take their lives than men (statistically more women attempt it).

I know this is a bit lengthy and may have lost some guys in the process, but if you're still here (or even just read the first word of each point), good on you!! There are many more things you can do, but this is a start. If you are reading this and thinking of a male friend who may benefit, please share, they can do with it what they like but at least they will know you care. That's not a bad thing. Here are a couple of websites you can look at for ideas, support and statistics.

www.mantherapy.org (check out the Man Therapies, they are funny and useful!)

www.suicideprevention.com.au