Love Your Sister / Mother / Friend

Some seriously beautiful words from the most soulful and altruistic brother and sister combos I follow on Facebook. If you don't follow "Love Your Sister" then give it a crack and join the village. You will be welcomed with open arms and not so gently told to feel your boobs for lumps!

"Last week I cried way too many times in one day, like whole torrents. Eventually, no matter how many appointments you schedule, or people you call or social scrolls you tear through, it’ll eventually be just you and that black mongrel mutt in some unexpected place on some idle weekday. I thought he came and went. Stupidly. He double backed with interest but I piffed him the eye with a pebble and he slunk away. I became wary.  Sure enough, back he came, with all his cohorts of course, barking bollocks, but this time I was ready and I vanquished him and his henchmutts with a terrific scolding and sent them packing without so much as a hairline fracture on the middle finger of my right hand. 

My new friend Em Rusciano smelt my anxiety from interstate (she does that shit all the time, it’s not even weird for her) and she sent me a quote from SC Lourier “Be confused, it’s where you begin to learn new things. Be broken, it’s where you begin to heal. Be sad, because if we are brave enough, we can hear our hearts wisdom thought it. Be whatever you are right now. No more hiding. You are worthy. Always.” 

The takeout? 1. Em Rusciano is rad. 2. If you cry enough, your neighbour might rescue you by lighting up the basketball court after dark with her car headlights so that you can keep playing. 3) Never apologise for crying. Crying is important and good and to say sorry for it is boring. Thanks  Em for recalibrating me with a pertinent quote, to the village for having my back and to dear Glenda, who tonight provided light for me in the dark, as have all you villagers lately. Thanks. Good stuff. Back to warm and fuzzies. Harrumph to that sillyness plus phew equals fuzzlies! xsam

Oh, and Em Ruscian's contribution came in! It's a balls out wake up call to certain men out there and I LOVE IT! The Stick is going to be so many hoots and you can only get it here with us... xsam"

http://eepurl.com/bMaO9f

Sit a while

Is there anyone in your life going through a rough patch?

Perhaps instead of telling them it will be over soon, look on the bright side etc, something like being there for them, listening and not trying to resolve, but also reminding them how awesome you think they are, could be just the medicine they need. 

Please try not to judge

My topic today is a sad one and I am going to keep this brief as I have been known to rant. I want to get my point across. 

Today I found out that a friend of a friend attempted to suicide by gassing herself in her car. :( :(

A couple of people in her life said it was attention-seeking and they don't want to know her. 

This attitude toward attempted suicide is what I am fighting against. Just because she didn't "succeed" does not mean either of these things. When you get to a stage where you feel this is your last hope, then someone really needs to help you. 

I know some of her story and she may not have had the right kind of support around her. People need to know there are professionals around to help you through, and they don't have to cost money.

In Australia, a call to Lifeline can be the first step. For other parts of the world a simple Google search about who to speak to can help. 

This kind of attitude toward suicide is a serious one and it gives the wrong idea for people who deal with depression. How about telling your loved ones you are there for them NO MATTER WHAT and that you love them. It may be just what they need to hear.

Please try to only approach these attempts with love. You have no idea what is happening in that person's head and how much your love will mean to them.

Sending all my love to you today xo

I'm OK, are you?

Today, in Australia, is R U OK Day.

A reminder for people to ask their loved ones if all is well in their world, reach out, and for people to "simply" know they are not alone. 

This seemingly small question has meant so much to me over the years. Whether for me, or the people I care about. 

If you have the slightest feeling that someone in your life isn't ok, just ask them. They may say they are fine, but you may be having a huge impact on their mental state. 

Sending love and joy to any gorgeous soul reading this :)

Waiting for the Weight to Lift

In the last few weeks I have been hit (really no other word for it) with depressive thoughts.

I am currently quite healthy, lead a wonderful life, have a great support network, and generally have a  lot of reasons to be happy.  I have had a few speed bumps that seem to have set me back - a job change and a realisation that I may not be having any more kids.

What many people don't realise is that depression can be a chemical imbalance in your brain, so telling someone with depression to "just think happy thoughts" isn't going to cut it.  I have been even telling myself this lately and getting more frustrated while doing so.

When I have these thoughts I have started coming up with 3 gratitudes each time.  The other night I may have possibly thought of about 84 gratitudes - a lot weren't massive but they had to be positive. It's a temporary measure but it gets me out of that head space, even for a bit.

I realised that my exercise has depleted lately and endorphins do great things for me, and everyone else!

This week I have vowed to do the following to get back on track:

- talk to loved ones about it (hubby and mum ticked off list)
- go VERY gently on myself - early nights (but not tonnes of sleeping like I want to)
- exercise each day even in small amounts
- eat well and drinks lots of herbal tea instead of caffeine for the quick buzz
- prioritise what really needs to be done this week - so don't sweat the piles of washing to be folded
- surround myself in aesthetically pleasing items - pictures of Greece, bright clothes, lovely smells,  good music
- ask for lots of hugs from my kids (they already seem to be giving me lots, they seem to just "know")

I also vow that if I am not back on track that I will go and see a professional.  I don't know why I see doing such things as a step back for me, I know they are not.  It's that "imposter" in my head fighting me and keep me in my comfort zone. Although I am not at all comfortable where I am right now.

This blog is so therapeutic for me, its making me accountable but at the same time releasing what's in my head and giving me some structure in my current mess of a head.

I will beat this, not alone, but I will....

Everything has a crack in it, that's how the light gets in

Recently a friend of mine put up this beautiful picture on Facebook.  She said that she had dreamt it and just had to paint it and get it out of her system.  I have included the image in this post.  You will see on the left hand side are all dark feelings that she was dealing with at the time.

I praised her for putting this up and admitting these emotions, because as you will see on the right hand side of the painting, there are feelings of where she would rather be and what she is working towards.

A lot of her friends didn't understand where she was coming from and said "you need to paint something more positive".  I didn't agree with this as she was being honest and instead of judgement people could have been asking if she was ok, or just thanking her for her honesty.

My friend messaged me privately and thanked me for the public comments and stated it was just something that she had to paint.  I again said to her how proud I was of her for dealing with these feelings and working towards moving away from them.

Our reaction to our friend's current emotional state is so important, whether they tell us or not :)

Know your Triggers

There has been a lot on social media about depression - whether it is people bringing it to our attention, beautiful souls taking their own lives or ways to support people.

A big thing for me is to know my triggers, what sets me off into panic, sadness, withdrawal, anger, or all of the above!

For me it varies.  It can be money worries, kids being intense, lack of support from friends, loneliness or stress.

The way I find that helps me the most is writing things down as well as talking it out with my "go to" people.  I have my hubby, my mum, my life coach and a few key friends.  All of which are amazing and can give me very different perspectives.

When you "suffer" from depression you learn who your true friends are and who you can turn to.  It is wise to get a few of them because people generally lead busy lives and can't always stop everything to support me.

I have a gratitude journal beside my bed which I try to write in every night.  On days where I am having trouble thinking of what to be grateful for I know that is a trigger.  So I make sure I write something, even if it is "just" - my health, my life and my tribe.  All of which I am truly grateful for every day.