Monday 1 May 2017

13 Reasons Why

So I'm going to jump on the bandwagon and talk about the show that everyone seems to be talking about - 13 Reasons Why.  If you don't know what it is about, look it up and keep an open mind.

I just binged watched it over the weekend, the flu made me do it ;)

I don't know where to start.  No matter what I say there will be people for and against.

What I will say is that I think it is a good show for parents to watch with their teenagers.  It raises SO many issues that they may be facing.

I'm not saying binge-watch it like I did.  I'm saying watch an episode, with a warning from me that there are some extremely confronting issues, and then talk about them at the end.  I know as a kid I would have found this hard to do with my parents, and now as a parent, I hope with all my heart that I will be able to talk to my kid when the time comes.

A big thing I took away from it is everyone is always caught up in their own shit that they forget to acknowledge the people in their lives who are close to them, or they are afraid to say too much.  Whether it be that they don't want to embarrass the person, will scare them off, or don't know what to say.  Just say it.  Write it down if you need.  Tell this person that they mean the world to you, every single day.

Another takeaway, speak up LOUDLY when bad things are happening to you (and there is no scale when it comes to measuring bad), don't think that people are too busy or don't care enough.  I wish I had sought more guidance when I was a kid on how to "survive" high school and not take so much on board.  If kids were given options, support, and tools that they can really use, then we may spare them some pain.

I was so impressed with this show and how it was so relatable to not just this generation.  A lot of the stuff that happened went down when I was growing up.  Cyber-bullying has unfortunately added a whole new heartbreaking level to it all.

I'm sure it will raise some more thoughts for me but I will leave it here for now  I hope that parents and kids can take away a lot from this show, especially the fact that honest and constant communication is key in any relationship. <3


Thursday 6 April 2017

R.E.S.P.E.C.T - find out what it means to me

A friend came to me today and told me (with love) how disappointed she is that I haven't been there for her as much as she has for me. 

She wasn't extending kindness to me and expecting back in the same enormous way, but a little acknowledgement and support in what is happening in her life goes a long way. 


I respect her SO much for speaking up (and she reads this blog so this is my public announcement to her!). Sometimes we get caught up in our own shit and forget people are going through their own, and need our love as much as we need theirs. Who haven't you checked in on lately? 😘 #hugtheblackdog




Friday 13 January 2017

I'm positive you are not alone

During my time of dealing with depression I have read so many posts that say "people who suffer from depression and anxiety can't see the positives in things so stop telling them to be positive". I call BS on this.

Of course a lot of people can't see the positives when they are experiencing things. But they should never stop trying, I am one of those people who haven't given up the battle. And there are always people who will help them do it too.  

I was speaking to a loved one last night who opened up and told me they have depression, to them it felt like a life sentence. By the end of the conversation we were laughing and reminiscing over some seriously good times we have had together. Please reach out to loved ones, you may not realise how much they want to be there for you. They may not know how to deal with it at first, just tell them you don't need them to solve anything, sometimes all we need is a friend to be there and listen.

In the meantime I found this great article on tips for dealing with fear and anxiety:

How to deal with chronic fear and anxiety

1. Avoid avoidance – face it and move forward
2. Develop a healthy sense of personal control – think the serenity prayer
3. Promote positivity – it broadens our perspective
4. Find meaning – rediscover a sense of purpose
5. Get support – the strength of social relationships helps with confidence
6. Go for a walk in nature – not only helps you feel better but lowers blood pressure, heart rate, and the production of stress hormones



Saturday 7 January 2017

I like to be alone but I hate to be lonely

I have had the last 24 hours to myself. To a lot of people this would be heaven, and I totally get that (especially for parents!). Lately though, I don't know what to do with myself.  I'm going through a huge life change and I don't really know what I enjoy any more.  There is only so much work, craft, seeing friends and cleaning you can do.  I think if I spoke to someone my voice would crack as I haven't used it.

I got myself out of the house for a bit as I noticed that I started feeling sorry for myself.  My first trigger.  I really don't have much to feel sorry for myself about, realistically.  A scroll through Facebook will give me some perspective.  But no I just end up watching some stupid videos that are meant to make me laugh. I really want to laugh more.  Next trigger, get out of my head space.  I'm being self-destructive.

Why am I writing this?  I'm trying to be aware of what's happening and know how to combat it.  I believe in the journey of depression, we can combat some stuff, other days we just need to give in and have a good sob, or seek professional help.  It's all about balance.  My trick is to not get stuck in one mindset, which means switching between a lot of different activities.  People think I have a short attention span and don't finish a task - it's actually a survival technique for me.

So this being alone for too long is not good for me, but I am learning how long I can last, and I spread it out a little more when I feel up to it.

For now, I'm gonna make a cuppa and call a friend who loves to chat.  The kind of friend who doesn't mind if I am quiet <3